parker is addicted to the old willy wonka and the chocolate factory - like major - im talking three times a day , no ron , its not a form of baby sitting lol- as your comment to shrek a while ago - lol- how are you by the way , my dearest??
its too hot to go outside these days - my kid will die in the heat - so we stay inside - i promised him as soon as it got cooler , fall is coming , we will live outside - i love fall -
there is something about fall that makes everyone all snuggly - its when the nights start getting breezy, it always feels like halloween weather - however, i live in new orleand and the constant is
fucking hot -
not just hot - no, the word fuck is majorly needed in the phrase -
but fall -
i love fall -
and dressing for winter is my favorite - it doesnt matter really what you have on , everyone looks great in cold weather - pale , cold, - give me cold sssooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn
oki - ok -i am officially back - drama disturbed my plan to go to sleep early - my stepbrother all cracked out ,... again , and one of the many female companions of his dropping him off at my mom's house, the only ones who were there were alan and phil, my baby brothers - i got a little pissed---
so now , the nausea that was settling for the night is in my throat and i want chinese noodles for some reason - lime shrimp - oh my god -
mark my words -
jeromie, i want to be a sea horse right now - the man carries the baby - hehe -
ok - done with fetal talk -
so i was actually happy to read that lisatanesa reads my journal - (hi to you if you ARE) - i always feel like a spy that i read people's journals and wonder if i ever hold anyone's attetnion - so it was either get something saucy to speak of often , or just show my tits - lol -
so the mouse. lets talk about you , you nasty little four legged belly dragger -
this little bastard came out of the boonies of hell last night while i was in the living room sitting on the couch - which excuse me , but isnt there some little rule in the little mouse pamplet they are handed out when they pop out of the nest , to never be seen by humans?
i was more inspired then freaked out - the little man , i am assuming it was a man , just kinda sat there - as if to see what i was watching - i think maybe he already saw that movie because he left while i tried to reach for something to throw -
i dont like the idea of living among rodents - shuudddeeerrr -
im done with this journal - i have nothing else to say - i am pregnant and sick and i am being a total asshole to myself - so im done -
fuck you live journal -
You Know You're From New Orleans When...
- Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside. -
- You reinforce your attic to store Mardi Gras beads.
- Your idea of recycling newspapers are crawfish boils.-ABSOLUTELY
- When you give directions you use "lakesideâ€ and â€œriverside' not north & south.
- Your ancestors are buried above the ground.- WE CANT HAVE THEM POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND DURING A HURRICANE!
- You walk on the "banquet" (sidewalk) and stand in the "neutral ground" (area of ground between a two sided street) "by ya mommas" (by your mother's house).
- Someone asks for directions and you stop and help them with a smile.
- You start an angel food cake with a roux.
- You think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.-HAHA
- You think boudin, hogshead cheese, and a Bud is a bland diet.-BOUDIN IS SOOOO GOOD
- You think Ground Hog Day and the Boucherie Festival are the same holiday.
- You take a bite of five-alarm chili and reach for the Tabasco.-NO, THATS JEROMIE -
- Fred's Lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.
- You have an *envie* for something instead of a craving.
- You use a "..3" washtub to cover your lawn mower or your outboard motor.
- You use two or more pirogues to cover your tomatoes to protect them from the late frost.
- You use a gill net to play tennis, badminton, or volleyball.
- The horsepower of your outboard motor is greater than that of your car motor.
- You pass up a trip abroad to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.
- The four basic food groups are boiled seafood, broiled seafood, fried seafood and beer.
- You are asked to name the holy trinity and your reply is "onions, celery, bell pepper."
- You let your black coffee cool, and find that it has gelled.
- You describe a link of boudin and cracklins as "breakfast."
- Every once in a while, you have waterfront property.- EVERY HURRICANE THAT COMES THROUGH -
- None of your potential vacation destinations are north of the old Mississippi River Bridge (US 190).
- You refer to Louisiana winters as "Gumbo Weather."-HELL YES! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN GUMBO IN DECEMBER
- You greet your long lost friend at the Lafayette Regional Airport with "AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
- You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says, "Don't eat the dead ones," and you know what he means.-HAHAHA YES I DO
- You learned Bourre the hard way: Holding yourself upright in your crib.
- You don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames.
- You give up Tabasco for Lent.
- You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.-SEE?
- You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.-IT ISNT?
- You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.
- You leave a parade with footprints on your hands.
- You believe that purple, green, and gold look good together.
- Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.
- You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.
- You like your rice and your politics dirty.
- No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.
- Your loved one dies and you book a jazz band before you call the coroner.
- Your accent sounds nothing like Harry Connick, Jr's.
- You can sing these jingles by heart: "Rosenberg's, Rosenberg's, 1825 Tulane;" "At the beach, at the beach, the Pontchartrain Beach..."
- You ask, "How they running?" and "Are they fat?" but, you're inquiring about seafood quality and not the Cresent City Classic.
- When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts than some Super Doppler 6000.
- Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and you don't care because you're No. 1 on the party chart.
- Nothing shocks you. Period. Ever.
- Being in a jam at Tulane and Broad isn't the same as being stuck in traffic.
- Your idea of health food is a baked potato instead of fries with your seafood platter.
- You have to take your coffee and favorite coffeemaker with you on a three-day trip.
- You have sno-ball stains on your shoes.-LOL-,I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF WHEN READ THIS ONE - THERE IS A SNOBALL STAND ON EVERY DAMM CORNER - I DONT LIKE THEM -
- You call tomato sauce "red gravy."- I HATE WHEN THEY SAY THIS -
- Your middle name is your mother's maiden name, or your father's mother's maiden name, or your mother's mother's maiden name, or your grandmother's mother's maiden name, or your grandfather's mother's maiden name.
- On certain spring days, Crawfish Monica is your breakfast.
- Your house payment is less than your utility bill.- SOMETIMES ITS ABOUT THE SAME - MY GOD
- You've done your laundry in a bar.
- You don't show your "pretties" during Mardi Gras.
- You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and not a disease.- ABSOLUTELY -
- You "boo" the mayor on national television.
- You wear sweaters in because it ought to be cold.- LOL- I DO ! I DRESS WEATHER STYLE JUST BECAUSE IT IS NOVEMBER - BUT IT NEVER IS -
- Your grandparents are called "Maw-Maw" and "Paw-Paw."- LOL
- Your Santa Claus rides an alligator and your favorite Saint is a football player.-EVER READ THE CAJUN NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMA?S?
- You suck heads, eat tail, sing the blues and you actually know where you got them shoes.-YEAH YOU RIGHT !
- You don't think it inappropriate to refer to a large adult male as "Li'l Bubba."
- You know why you should never, ever swim by the Lake Pontchartrain steps (for more than one reason).-OH MY GOD - COULD THERE BE MORE SLIME ? HOWEVER WHEN ROLLING , IT FEELS , YEAH LETS NOT TALK ABOUT THAT!
- You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show.- THEY TOTALLY MISLEAD PEOPLE THE WAY WE TALK -
- You have to reset your clocks after every thunderstorm.- EVERY SINGLE STORM- SWEAR
- You waste more time navigating back streets than you would if you just sat in traffic.
- You still call the Fairmont Hotel, the Roosevelt.
- You consider garbage cans a legal step to protecting your parking space on a public street.-LOL-
- You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans.
- Your one-martini lunch becomes a five-bloody mary afternoon... and you keep your job.
- You're walking in the French Quarter with a plastic cup of beer.
- When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.
- You eat dinner out and spend the entire meal talking about all the other good places you've eaten.- DONT WE ALL ?
- You actually get these jokes .
Do You Yahoo!?
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i was thinking- if i died tomorrow, would i be satisfied with what i accomplished? and im not sure i would -
the order that they are in are of no importance , really - EXCEPT NUMBER 1
10. learn a new language , such as italian , and apply it to its native land -
9. win an award with either photography or writing -
8. master the art of a spotless house - im just wondering how i cleaned all of the houses in the city to godly status , to come home to bllaahh -
7. have hair down to my waist - i can never make it that far -
6. sleep through the whole entire night without a lamp or with the door closed( i am a major pussy with dark)
5. cry at my son's wedding
4. touch jim morrison's grave in france - oh just to leave a candle hehe -
3. meet barbra rainbolt( a local new orleans poet who totally opened my eyes to the female poetry)
2. see jeromie healthy and NOT SMOKING
1. OPENING MY RESTERAUNT --
i havent written in a while, i know - i doubt anyone missed it anyway -
so , the new news is that i am pregnant ! we are very happy , and i am even happier that christina , our cousin , is also pregnant - i havent been to the doctor yet, so i dont know how far along- but i am , so thats that - jeromie wants a girl - he says i already have a mama' s boy - he needs a daddy's little girl - which made me extatic to hear, because of my un daddy's girl past - my dad is really my stepdad and had all boys - he didnt know girls - so thats why i can relate to the male gender better , which often got me in trouble - ok how did this journal get to this ?lol0
so for the next 9 months , the words of constants are going to be
when was your last menstral period?
how far along are you ?
i am fat
nutrition( fuck , i dont have to feel guilty about that other piece of pie)
these are off the top of my head-
so i havent thrown up yet , but i am counting the hours -
i saw this on hbo the other night -and it was amazing - i was never so proud to own a vagina before lol-
hi - i wear boob shirts and make divorced men cry -
ok this reminds me o too much of a judd's album cover- lol- winnona
always wore her hair swept to the side and blonde lol- and naomi always
had kinda short mom hair lolool- wait till my mo sees this lol-
mom shakin her groove thang and scott behind her - she has a dumb look on her face lol-
beth feeling ever so frisky lol-
hi my name is whino on the street - drinkin a bottle of booze - love you , professor lol! my house is a mess =- lol
i thought these were pretty good time killers - lol
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code
in housewares .... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
( And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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beth and me- she was so drunk - and her boobs are always the center of attention -
i impressed myself by discovering i could do the blowjob shots without using my hands - lol- there was a roar form the crowd -
mom , beth and kyle - since he shaved his head- he is so r.e.m. -
lol- i expected him to belt out -" everybody criesssssssss....
sometimes"- ( i love that song)